Speak the Truth in Love-

Jun 11, 2024 | Encouragement

“Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ…”
Ephesians 4:15
“Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.”
Ephesians 4:25


It was 2005- 2007 when I first learned this concept. “Speaking the truth in love…”

I was teaching a Biblical Conflict Resolution Class at Elisha House, where I volunteered. Another volunteer assisted me in teaching the “Conflict Resolution Class.” We both needed to learn and practise these truths as much as the twenty women who attended each week.

While serving as Class Facilitators, what we learned was that most people deal with conflict by avoiding it, fighting fire with fire, or doing what is right and speaking the truth in love. The last scenario was less frequently implemented. That is unfortunate because “speaking the truth in love” is the biblical approach to solving conflict.

Even though I have taught these concepts, I still find it very difficult to do so… “speaking the truth in love” I mean.

The reason I avoid conflict is that I fear the other person’s reaction to what I say in truth. They might accept what I say in truth, or they might totally deny any involvement in the conflict or any responsibility in the equation. Regardless, I am to speak the truth in love.

To be perfectly honest, I am a truth shooter. How about you? I don’t enjoy pretending or shuffling things under the rug. Some people might think that is abrasive but I suppose that is in the beholder’s eye and how much they appreciate the truth.

I also appreciate individuals who are straight up, blunt sometimes, but speak the truth. It is hard when you can’t get a grasp on what a person is thinking. It’s guesswork on where they stand on any issue.

So rather than hide the truth, speak behind someone’s back (triangulation) or even avoid people, we all need to get better at learning to communicate truth in a love. So often (at least in my experiences) people have learned to fight fire with fire. Not a good way to resolve conflict. This just adds fuel to the fire.

Let me give you an example. If someone insults something you took lots of time to prepare for a meal, you could say, “that sounds like a putdown. Did you mean it that way?” Instead of “cook your own food from now on…” Wow, what a difference in approach, right? Which response is likely to be heard?

Even when you speak the truth to a person instead of gossiping about them behind their backs, that individual may block what you intend them to hear. You can only be responsible for your part in the equation and that is “speaking the truth in love” as the Bible teaches us to do.

The world would have much less conflict and we would all have more peace if we applied the biblical instruction of “speaking the truth” not harshly, not lambasting someone, not with a hidden agenda of one upmanship but with the goal of pleasing our LORD.

That, dear reader, is the goal always.

Let’s go… and speak truth to our neighbors when applicable, and above all might we speak in love.








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